Out and about

Hey, Jude -

It's been a few weeks since I've written here for you. It's been a very busy time for our family. We moved! We moved right around the corner from the apartment we lived in for 3 years before you were born into an apartment just a short half-block away. Now we have 2 bedrooms so you have your very own room. You're a lucky boy. Not many kids in the city get their own rooms. You'll appreciate that when you're a little bit older. It is rather hectic to move - all the packing and hauling and unpacking - so I've had little time to come here and put my thoughts down for you. Luckily, I've gotten to spend a lot of time talking to you and telling you all the things I would have written here if I had the chance.

You are growing into a boy who loves the outdoors. This warms my heart. When you were a tiny baby, only 7 days old, I carried you in your sling while I walked around the neighborhood. I explained the trees and the wind and the sun and moon to you. As you've gotten a little older (almost 5 months now!) you've really taken a liking to trees. You gaze up at the branches and leaves when we're in the park. At home you look out our 3rd floor windows at the big tree outside and you smile. You grin at nature and that makes me very proud.

Being inside is good. It lets you cool down on an especially hot day, warm up when it's cold out, sleep comfortably, take shelter from the elements, all the things that keep people safe and sound. But, always try to spend some time outside every day. Even just taking a walk around your neighborhood will do you some good. The breeze will blow across your face and remind you that whatever your preoccupations, you're a small member of a larger natural order. Respect nature and everything in it. Recycle and reuse and take good care of the Earth. It will take good care of you.

I love you, my Jude, my kind boy, my nature boy.
Love,
Momma

Open wide

Hey, Jude -

The latest and greatest in your life this week was the introduction of solid foods. Until now you've had only breast milk, so solids were a momentous addition. You tried bananas first. You loved them. Next came baby oatmeal, followed by carrots, then sweet potatoes. I think the best so far was the most recent - homemade apple and carrot puree.

You squealed with delight as you took the tiny, rubber coated, green spoon into your mouth. You opened up wide in anticipation of every bite. I expected you to be hesitant, but you never were. My boy is an amazing eater. Your little baby friends aren't eating solids yet. Most babies wait until 6 months or so, but you were ready. You stared at Daddy & me when we ate, watching the food go into our mouths. You even leaned forward with your mouth open as if trying to get a taste of what we were having. We knew it was time to start you on solids at 4 months old.

As I was peeling and chopping the apples and carrots this evening I was thinking about years ago before you were born how I said I'd make my own baby food when the time came. Then today I did just that. I readied the steamer pot, put the chunks of nutritious fruit and veg into the basket, and thought about how every part of what I was making for you was wholesome and good. That was a great feeling - knowing I was helping your little body and mind grow up big and strong and healthy. Daddy and I want you to inherit our love of food and our appreciation of sustainable, local eating.

You've liked every new food you've tried so far and I very much hope that stays with you. I want you to like trying new things. You may hear some people say that you should try everything once. I disagree. My motto is "Try everything twice. Give everything a second chance." That applies to many things - new hobbies, new music, new friends, new ideas. The same goes for new foods. Try it twice. If you didn't like it the first time try it again later. You just might be surprised at what you grow into.

I love you my Jude, my hungry boy, my happy boy,
Momma

Snap, Crackle, Pop

Hey, Jude -

Today brought yet another lesson I hope you learn. It's OK to be in a bad mood now and then, but try hard not to be cranky with other people. When you're not feeling happy or you're tired it's easy to get short tempered, especially with the people you love the most. You'll find that you're the most comfortable around people who love you, so it's easy to let your guard down and unleash some of your bad mood on the very people who deserve your bright, sunshiny self the most.

Right now Daddy and I are getting ready to move our family into our new apartment. We've lived in this apartment for 3 years before you were born and now we're moving into a bigger apartment where you will have your very own bedroom. I'm excited to be moving, but moving is difficult and it can be quite stressful. When I get stressed I can get grumpy and then snap at Daddy. Luckily, Daddy loves me very much and knows that I'm just in a bad mood and he doesn't take it personally, but it's not a nice thing for me to do.

So, try to remember that even when you're in a bad mood it's not nice to be snappy with people. The stress will pass, tomorrow is another day and a whole new chance to have a happy time again.

I love you my Jude, my happy boy, my little learner,
Momma

Sorry, little guy

Hey, Jude -

Today we went to the community garden. I had a great time showing you the plants and you loved looking at all the variations of green. You were particularly enthralled with the baby pine cones on the tree by the gate. I showed you how they start out tiny and purple, grow bigger and green, and finally get fully mature and brown.

The lesson I realized I want you to learn from today is that forgiveness is key. It's not good to hold a grudge or keep that negativity within yourself. You've got to find a way to let it go. That goes for forgiving yourself, too.

One of the things I showed you at the garden was a tiny snail on the ground near the gate. I showed you its shell and explained how that was its house, always carried around on the snail's back. You listened as I told you about snails' soft bodies and the need for protection, which is why their shell/house comes in so handy. As we were leaving we walked past the gate and I felt a delicate crunch beneath my sandal. I stepped on the snail. I crushed his house and killed the poor, little fella.

I felt so bad about killing poor Mr. Snail, especially after introducing the two of you, I apologized about a million times... to you and to the squished little thing on the ground. I felt terrible the whole way home and didn't really talk to you much and tell you about what was going on during the walk like I usually do. You didn't get to hear me talk about the rain hitting the sidewalk or the trees blowing in the wind. Instead, I was beating myself up for accidentally killing the snail.

The lesson is that you should be sorry for doing bad things, but you should also try to forgive yourself. If you've done all you can to make it right and you feel truly sorry, then all that's left to do is forgive. No use in keeping that awful feeling inside when it won't fix what went wrong in the first place. That's what I realized I'd like you to learn today.

I love you, my Jude, my smart boy, my nice boy.
Momma

Go for it

Hey, Jude -

I thought of another quality I hope you embrace as you grow. Spontaneity. I hope you enjoy the unexpected and get a kick out of shaking up the daily routine now and again. Your Daddy and I are trying to instill this in you already. Take yesterday, for example...

We were on the phone with MeMe in the morning and she mentioned they were headed to our favorite seafood place in southern Rhode Island for dinner. Daddy looked at me and said, "You know, it's really only a 3 hour drive." With that, we packed your diaper bag, got in the car, and met MeMe, Pepe, and Auntie for dinner. Was it a little crazy? Maybe. But that's OK. It was worth it to have a really great day with our family and an unplanned visit with your grandparents and aunt. You got to see the ocean for the first time. You got to smell the salty air, hear the waves lap the beach. It was a special day for everyone because we got to experience that with you.

Being spontaneous is a good thing, my boy. Letting go of what is supposed to happen and reaching out to what might be can make a normal day an extraordinary day. Sometimes it's good to take a chance. Be prudent, of course, but take those chances that make your heart happy.

I love you my Jude, my sunshine, my nice boy.
Momma

Live and let laugh

Hey, Jude -

You're almost 13 weeks old. You've been here for 3 months. Something like 90 days. In the past 90 days you've done more than I can really fathom. You've learned to eat, breathe, smile, kick, coo. You have found your hands and celebrate by shoving your fists in your mouth at every opportunity. You've been to an art museum, several restaurants, Rhode Island, a wedding, and the park. You ride the subway on a fairly regular basis. You've changed lives and softened hearts. I'd say that's a pretty good record for such a short time.

You'll never believe what you did this weekend. You laughed. You giggled. You honest to god laughed and it was the sweetest sound I've ever heard. Daddy was, of course, the source of the glee. I have yet to inspire your giggles, but the smiles and coos are tiding me over until then.

I hope you know laughter intimately as you grow up. It's a wonderful thing. When you're lonely or need a pick me up laughter can be the best medicine. When your heart hurts and life is hard laughter can be your bright, shiny spot. If you grow to be someone who laughs easily and smiles often I will be a very happy mother. If you encourage laughter in others I will be over the moon.

I love you, my Jude, my sunshine, my giggly boy.
Momma

You and me, kid

Hey, Jude -

This weekend Daddy went to Vermont and it was just you & me, kid. Well, we can't forget Duke. He was pretty thrilled to be with you, too. It was a full weekend of playing, eating (and more eating, followed by some eating), napping, singing, dancing, smiling, reading, and walking.

I was nervous before Daddy left because I didn't know how well I'd be able to take care of you all weekend alone. You need a lot of attention and care right now and doing that all by myself is exhausting. But, you know what? This weekend was great. We had so much fun together and I felt good about taking care of you. You really liked being outside a lot, so I'm going to make sure you get to go on a walk with me & Daddy every day.

I learned this weekend that independence is a good thing. It's wonderful to have Daddy here as my partner, but to care for you independently is powerful. It made me feel strong and capable and important. That's a lesson I hope you learn - independence is good. I hope that you are an independent person. You will grow into exactly who you are supposed to be. I'm lucky to see that process unfold.

I love you, Jude, my sunshine, my smiley boy.
Momma